David Pogue put out the call a while ago for videos of things that really bothered you about your cellular carrier, and a number of people responded with something that’s a bit of a pet peeve for me, too: the 15 second instructions on how to leave a voice mail message that you can’t turn off and can only skip if you know the right special key. He’s absolutely right, and he puts it like this:

Last week, in The Times and on my blog, I’ve been ranting about one particularly blatant money-grab by U.S. cellphone carriers: the mandatory 15-second voicemail instructions.

Suppose you call my cell to leave me a message. First you hear my own voice: “Hi, it’s David Pogue. Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you”–and THEN you hear a 15-second canned carrier message.

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(You hear a similar message when you call in to hear your own messages. “You. Have. 15. Messages. To listen to your messages, press 1.” WHY ELSE WOULD I BE CALLING?)

I, the voicemailbox owner, cannot turn off this additional greeting message. You, the caller, can bypass it, but only if you know the secret keypress–and it’s different for each carrier. So you’d have to know which cellphone carrier I use, and that of every person you’ll ever call; in other words, this trick is no solution.

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These messages are outrageous for two reasons. First, they waste your time. Good heavens: it’s 2009. WE KNOW WHAT TO DO AT THE BEEP.

Do we really need to be told to hang up when we’re finished!? Would anyone, ever, want to “send a numeric page?” Who still carries a pager, for heaven’s sake? Or what about “leave a callback number?” We can SEE the callback number right on our phones!

Second, we’re PAYING for these messages. These little 15-second waits add up–bigtime. If Verizon’s 70 million customers leave or check messages twice a weekday, Verizon rakes in about $620 million a year. That’s your money. And your time: three hours of your time a year, just sitting there listening to the same message over and over again every year.

In 2007, I spoke at an international cellular conference in Italy. The big buzzword was ARPU–Average Revenue Per User. The seminars all had titles like, “Maximizing ARPU In a Digital Age.” And yes, several attendees (cell executives) admitted to me, point-blank, that the voicemail instructions exist primarily to make you use up airtime, thereby maximizing ARPU.

Right now, the carriers continue to enjoy their billion-dollar scam only because we’re not organized enough to do anything about it. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to sit there, waiting to leave your message, listening to a speech recorded by a third-grade teacher on Ambien.

Let’s push back, and hard. We want those time-wasting, money-leaking messages eliminated, or at least made optional.

He’s absolutely right, and those long annoying intros (even worse when coupled with someone who has a really long voicemail intro message) have got to go…or at least we should be granted the option to turn them off. I’ve already lodged a complaint with Verizon about this – and thanks to David’s article, I now know which buttons to press to get around the long intros…as long as I know which carrier the person I’m calling is using, which is all but impossible if you make a lot of calls.

Pogue is right though – this is all about airtime and making sure you drain as many minutes doing mundane things not associated with what you actually want to do as possible. It’s silly, it needs to stop, and frankly – it is 2009 – we all know how to leave someone a voicemail. In fact, a lot of people are predicting that voicemail as a technology is on its last legs.

In any event, hop on the campaign and let your carrier know you’re displeased too. Find out how to make your voice heard and tell the cellular companies that we’re taking back the beep at Pogue’s blog below:

[ The New York Times :: Take Back the Beep Campaign ]